Sooo... There is this guy on youtube named Jason Burns. He is one of those really really really religious dudes who has lost his grounding in reality. On one of his videos there was a commenter that said "Run this one through a ring modulator for something that would make Davros himself shit hit pants..." Davros is the creator of the Daleks in Doctor Who. So I downloaded a ring modulator to change the voice and ripped the original video from youtube to do it. But then I started playing around with it. And, well, I think I went a little far. It slides from the realm of a funny spoof into the realm of a dark and weird...thing. Stuff. BEWARE- Some of the images in this may be disturbing. I warned you.

Why do you even need to read this?

I've started an official Frank's Life twitter account. I don't know why because I hate twitter and it just seems impossible for anyone to give a shit about what I have to say there. Not that anyone really gives a shit about what I say here but I do get a fairly steady stream of people reading every day despite having not updated in almost two months now. About 93% of all the traffic that comes to this blog is from the blog I did a while back about the 13 most creepy/mysterious things on the internet. Before that blog I got about 1-5 hits a day. Now I am getting 200+ on a slow day and 500-1000 hits on a good day. 

Social sites are weird. I don't really know what I am doing. Some days I've just got it and my facebook blows up. Other days I'm totally off and no one gives a shit about what I am saying. Lately, however, more and more I feel like I just don't have anything really worthwhile to say so I end up not posting anything. I hate 'coming up' with things to post because it feels contrived. That 13 most mysterious things blog post wasn't something I came up with for the sake of this blog, it was just something I wanted to do. The last thing I want to do is write about shit I could care less about. Today it would be easy to write about the mess regarding the confederate flag or something, but I honestly don't really care about it. I have my opinions on it but I just don't feel like needlessly sharing them right now. There are probably thousands of blogs talking about that. Why do you need to read about it here?

Why do you even need to read this? I don't know. You don't. However, this is what I felt like writing today. So there. 

Quick Update

It is surprising to see how many visits I am still getting daily, mainly from that top 13 weird and mysterious things post I made. It makes me pretty happy to see that I did something that is keeping the subscriber base going up despite not writing as much as I would like to. 

So here is a quick rundown of what I have been up to-

1.) Real life work.

2.) Taking care of the kids.

3.) Poker.

4.) Working on a documentary.

This documentary project is a fascinating experience for me. It is a sort of chronicling of my time at the medieval faire as an actor way back in 2004. It's really more of a retrospective. A friend of mine started a documentary that year but never finished it and, after years of asking, has finally given me all of the footage so that I can complete it. I've been out to the faire grounds every other weekend to get updated footage and later this summer I will be getting updated interviews so that it can be a 'then and now' sort of thing. 

Anyway, just a quick update today! If I can get some of that footage up to show I will. 

You gots the HIV, dude.

Today marks a big day for Frank's Life- today we launch the first video on the YouTube site. 

This video serves a dual purpose as it is being uploaded to two channels. It will be uploaded to both Frank's Life, as the kick-off video, and to the Smoke Break, as the final video. Hopefully I can draw a few subscribers from the Smoke Break over to Frank's Life.

Anyway, in this video I decided to prank my friend Brad (who I have known for a few years through Google+) with the help of my friend Sean Mahoney (Casa Del Loki- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBoVP6_8hkqf1LhBqWFt8rw) who lives with him. 

Admittedly, this prank is a little harsh but fuck it. Here you go!

13 Most Mysterious/Creepy/Weird/Disturbing Things On The Internet

I'm a big Ghostbusters fan. I've got replica props from the films, hell, I nearly have the whole outfit. Consequentially, I am really intrigued by ghost stories, creepy mysteries, and all manner of things in that general area of weirdness. There are a lot of cool and off-kilter things you can find the information to on the internet that will keep you up at night (either from fright or just having to read further about the subjects).

So, that being the case, I am going to present you with my personal top thirteen list of the weirdest/creepiest/scariest mysteries that you can find information about on the internet. It was going to be a top ten but I came across way too many things to not post more. 

I should warn you that some of this is going to be very unpleasant, so let's consider this blog post to be NSFW. I must also caution those of you who do not want to see some things that get quite bloody. So if you're not into interesting mysteries, catastrophic gore, or things that make you feel like ghosts are surrounding you while in your bed at night, turn back! 



13- The Mysterious Shelter

As a lot of darker things do on the internet, this story comes from 4chan. An anonymous poster there shared the story of a shelter his grandfather, who had been in the war, had built. The family was never allowed in there so he jumped at the chance to check it out after his grandfather had passed away. They were looking for anything that might be worth selling in the estate sale, but what he found was, I suppose you could say, more than could be bargained for.

The Mysterious Shelter

Spooky stuff.

12- Find Emily Sander

Yes, it is another story that originated on 4chan. More of these types of stories are than I am comfortable with. As mild and entertaining as that site can be, some crazy shit happens there. People have been murdered and the murderers will post the information on 4chan. For some reason. As is the case with this story. I must quickly explain a theme on 4chan first, however-

Posters there tend to do this thing where you have to guess what the last however many numbers of their automatically generated user ID (which is different in every thread in order to keep everyone as anonymous as possible) and if you guess correctly, you get something in return. Often times it gives you the privilege to ask the original poster, or the OP, to do something. Or other times, like in this case, the OP has already offered something and will give it up if a poster gets the answer correct.

So, back in 2007 this OP comes on 4chan and posts this-

Of course, people are skeptical and they think that OP is just trolling, so they play along. But then someone actually guesses their last two posting ID numbers correctly-

And the OP hands out some coordinates-

Nothing else is seen in that particular thread at this point, but people couldn't leave it alone and decided to look for news from that general area. The coordinates are looked up on google maps-

And then the local news sites are scoured, until this is found-

If you look at the map and look at the little overlay that shows the distances on the map, this seems pretty likely to be true. 

Everyone is on the internet, which means the psychos and murderers are too. 

11- Last Words

Here is one to keep you up. This is a website that lets you hear a bunch of recordings and read the transcripts of the final moments and transmissions of planes that have crashed. This is certainly not for the faint of heart.

Last Words

10- The Master Butcher

Another good one. This is the story of a man named Armin Meiwes, known as the Rotenburg Cannibal, or the Master Butcher.

Armin used to post on website called Cannibal Cafe which was a website for people who shared an interest in that...area. Fetish. Thirst. Whatever you would call it. On this site Armin tried to get a volunteer to be eaten. Eaten! Who would volunteer for something like this? Well, a man named Bernd Jurgen Armando Brandes. I suppose if you want to kill yourself, having someone eat you is probably the best option. If you want to die one of the most painstaking deaths possible, that is. 

Armando (I'm just going to call him Armando) volunteered to be the victim of Armin and went to his apartment. There, they made a video together that documented the entire process which started with Armin amputating Armando's penis. If it wasn't enough that Armin took a knife and chopped this dude's dick off then you should know that Armando originally requested that Armin BITE his dick off, but it was too chewy and didn't work so they resorted to the knife. After that, Armando attempted to indulge in his own penile pleasantry but found his manhood to be rather chewy so he abandoned the attempt. 

Armin left Armando to bleed out in the bathtub while feeding him a bunch of alcohol, painkillers, and sleeping pills before ultimately stabbing him in the throat, killing him, and then butchering his body. He ate quite a bit of Armando over the course of ten months before getting caught by the authorities. 

More information on this case can be found here

09- The Polaroid

From this source-

"On June 15, 1989, a woman in Port St. Joe, Florida pulled off Route 98 into the parking lot of a Junior Food Store. She parked next to a white Toyota cargo van and entered the air-conditioned market. Moments later, when she emerged, the white van was gone, but in the vacated space beside her car, she found what appeared to be a Polaroid photo lying face down on the asphalt. She picked it up, and turned it over. The image she found was harrowing."

This tale is certainly terrifying, especially for those with children. Hit that link above for more info. 

08- The Webcam Suicide

When you hang around the internet long enough you're going to stumble on shit like this.

Marcus Jannes from Stockholm was hanging out on an internet forum called "Flashback", a Swedish site and told some people there that he was going to kill himself and, as you would expect, many people came out taunting him saying that he would not do it. Lo and behold, he did. This isn't particularly graphic but it is disturbing on a guttural level. I have never seen someone's face get this red and I hope to never see that shade of red again 

Here's the video. I told you this was going to get rough.

07- The Homeless Woman With A Home

Have you ever heard a few strange noises in your home and thought it's probably the house settling? Maybe you've heard footsteps and you pondered that your home may be haunted. Or perhaps you have had things go missing and thought that you were just an idiot who couldn't find their shit. What if all of it was actually happening, though, and it wasn't the house, a ghost, or your idiocy at work?

What if someone you didn't know was living in your home and you didn't know about it?

Sound implausible? I am sure this guy thought so. Here is the video of the incident- https://youtu.be/p0K41mQVMJw

06- San Pedro Haunting

Of course, I have to write about this one late at night. 

There are a lot of tales of hauntings floating around on the internet, but few ever seem to be more than superstitions or misunderstandings of natural phenomena. The San Pedro haunting, however, has some fairly interesting points to it and you've probably never heard of it despite it being a rather well documented case. 

The story is that of Jackie Hernandez and her house. The incidents started small and escalated into a worrisome situation, as you often hear. However, there was some physical evidence manifesting itself as the incidents went on that would worry even me, whether I thought it was paranormal or not. 

Her baby seemed to be getting small injuries that seemed unexplainable, or so Jackie said. There was also a sort of liquid substance oozing from her walls that, as the reports say, was sent to a lab and identified as human plasma, likely that of a male. I can't really find any evidence of that but that's how the story goes. 

Here is the full story- The Haunting of Jackie Hernandez


05-The WOW! SIgnal

This one isn't creepy. It's just neat. 

The WOW! signal is named so because the astronomer, Jerry Ehman, wrote "WOW!" next to the signal on the printout. It was an unusual signal that appeared on August 15, 1977  by the Big Ear- a SETI radio telescope. It did not resemble any of the signals we would get from naturally occurring cosmic phenomena so when Jerry saw it he wrote down the word that came to his head. It was detected for 72 seconds which is the amount of time that the Big Ear can detect any single signal for (because of the rotation of the Earth). That part of the sky has been scanned time and again since then and the signal has not been heard since. Check out the video below for more information.

The WOW! Signal

04- The Mackenzie Poltergeist

This is a rather interesting case, one that I only recently learned about. I had heard of it before but haven't looked into it. I am surprised at myself because it is quite creepy. I would like to go in depth, but instead I will give you the TL;DR and send you on your way to a link to read more about it. I assure you it is worth the read. I wouldn't say it is very compelling as far as evidence goes, but as for testimony (which is hardly reliable, I know, but at least builds a general picture of the feeling of this case) it is a superb paranormal case. It is a case which has generated over 500 reported UPEs (unexplained physical events) where people have been injured by unseen things when visiting this particular mausoleum, that of Sir George Mackenzie who was a particularly bad dude in the 17th century. Apparently he was responsible for the deaths of over 18,000 Brits.

The short version goes like this- The mausoleum had remained undisturbed for centuries until 1998 when a homeless man broke into Sir Mackenzie's to escape the weather (ominously known as just the Black Mausoleum). He broke into the tomb inside, perhaps looking for loot, and then all hell broke loose. 

Click here to read the whole story.

Click here if you don't like to read and would rather watch the cheesy video explanation of it.



PLEASE READ- I must caution you that the next, and final, three entries here are seriously disturbing and violent. Please stop here if you do not wish to have images burned into your mind that will never leave it. There are bloody, violent, evil things ahead.




03- 1 man, 1 ice pick.

Luke Magnotta is the star of this story. This one is especially disturbing for me because I was kind of there (online, that is) to watch this unfold. By that I mean I saw a video that this man posted a few years ago where he had put kittens in a bag and then sucked all the air out of the bag with some type of compressor device. The kittens died. It was quite disturbing.


Another video came out shortly after that showing a man being killed while naked and tied down to a bed. The murderer then does all kinds of shit to the corpse, including dismembering it and having sex with it. 

The internet came down hard and fast on this one. Internet sleuths put it together that the man who made the video with the kittens was the same man who posted this video. It turns out they were right. Luke Magnotta was sentenced to life imprisonment. Video below.

I can no longer find the cat video, but here is the video of Luke killing Lin Jun and dismembering him.


2- Anon Murders Someone

This one is not as graphic as the last one but it takes the number two spot because many people were a part of the experience. By that I mean this man was posting this to 4chan as it happened. 4chan's format may be confusing for some, but just think of it as descending columns. That's how you read it. 


1-  The Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs

This one takes the cake for me. This has got to be the most disturbing video I have seen on the internet. It's not a mystery, but it certainly is creepy. This is pure evil. Sure, the 4chan guy uploaded pics right after he killed someone. Yea, Luke Magnotta killed a guy and raped him. There is something about this video, though, that really gets me. It is just so utterly brutal. I think it's the noises that get me.

These two dudes were insane.  They committed a string of murders in Russia and filmed some of their excursions. This particular video somehow leaked out onto the internet. Here is the Wikipedia article on them.

And now...

Here is the video.


Well, folks. That wraps it up. Catch you next time. Sleep well...


I am a pretty nostalgic guy. I hold on on to the past for far too long and I am not quite sure why. It's not as though the present is not good. It just seems that the past is still super important.

A lot of people say it is best to leave the past behind and move forward and they may be right. I sometimes think of it like pulling a wagon behind you. The more you fill it up the harder it becomes to move forward so long as you're holding on to it. It get's quite...heavy. 

And I kind of feel like it is a drag on my mind sometimes. Other times, however, I feel as though it enhances the present. It makes the wonderful moments more wonderful because the present feelings mix with the nostalgia to create an emotion batter that, when baked, make a nice emotion cake with candles and icing and there are balloons and party animals and nice music and you get all the presents you want. For a few minutes. Then it's back to work on Monday and, god damnit, it's all back to normal. 

Life is strange like that. It hits you hard for better or for worse. I don't mean for that to sound negative. I love it. I love the rollercoaster. Sure, sometimes you want to just breakdown and cry it out. That's fine. I just can't seem to let go of a lot of the past. Sure, pieces fall off now and again. That's going to happen. Hell, sometimes it needs to happen. I've cut off ties with people and gotten away from things. But I can't drop the whole load. It's too important. What if Sam just left Frodo behind? I'm like the Sam Gamgee to my past. 

I suppose the trick is to be strong and get stronger. The weight may increase, but that's ok so long as you are strong enough to handle it. 

Simple Device

There's a problem that is getting worse and worse here at work. It is something I dread. 

Every day at about 11:30am I call in an order to the sub place down the street. Most times I will get a steak sub, because the steak sub they make there is just damn good. At about 11:55am-12pm I am out the door and on my way to get my food. I pick it up. I bring it back. I sit. I eat. I enjoy. I watch a show during my lunch hour, maybe part of a movie. Maybe even just some youtube clips from Reddit. 

And every day I forget. 

After lunch I have about an hour, maybe two, before I'm off to the bathroom to do whatever. Sometimes, as well do, I have to take a shit. I open up the stall and it used to be the case that, most days, it was clean. This is a professional office building after all. There are supposed to be some standards here. 

Every so often, however, I would walk in to something that just confounds me. There would be shit on the seat. Poop. Where you are supposed to sit. Now, had these few and far between instances been in the public toilet environment I would not have been so surprised. People are pretty disgusting in general. But this is the one toilet on my floor. The second floor. The kicker? Only people who work in the building have the keys to the bathrooms.

Those times were few and far between. Lately, however, I have a growing sense of something akin to anger because it has slowly become more frequent, like a calculated escalation of mental terrorism, until finally it has been two days in a row as of today. 

A toilet is a fairly simple device (for the user, at least, if not the engineer) to use. You get a feeling in your nervous system that tells you that you will soon need to expel waste from your body that is solid. then you walk (or run) to a bathroom, you sit on the device in such a way as to center your ass-crack in the giant hole of the toilet, and you release. Yes, sometimes this can get violent. Yes, perhaps it even sometimes gets messy in the most embarrassing of instances. Overall, though, it is an extremely basic device that is almost intuitive in it's use and function. Aim poop in hole, pull lever. While I suppose wiping is optional it is a highly recommended step. But if you do create a mess, you should clean it up.

What type of person would not clean up the shit they accidentally put somewhere it was not supposed to be? Furthermore, what type of person is doing this every day? What type of person do you have to be to go to the toilet, poop ON it, wipe your ass, look behind you and say to yourself "I just shit on the toilet seat and I am not going to clean it up,"? 

A shitty person. That's what type.

I will find you, serial shitter. I will find you and I will embarrass you into compliance. Mark my words. 

Empty Your Cup

Just wanted to update with a bit of information regarding the take-off of this little site here.

Soon the YouTube counterpart to this blog will be launching, followed quickly by the Google+ and Facebook pages. Because what YOU need right now is more shit you don't care about filling up your timelines. OR...or, you may like it and you may care. You may care a lot. You may love it. You may love me. You DO love me. YOU LOVE ME. YOU'RE A SICK FREAK, THINKING THOSE THOUGHTS YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW ABOUT ME. FREAK.

But seriously that shit will be coming soon. Yes there is a link to the YouTube page at the top of this page but there isn't currently anything there. The page just exists. Feel free to subscribe to the emptiness right now if that tickles your fancy. As Bruce Lee said- "Empty your cup so that it may be filled."